As I continue to think about our self compassion journey this year in 2018, and what it means to really love ourselves, what keeps coming up is the idea that we teach people how to treat us and how to love us, through what we accept from them.
Every time we let someone blow through a personal boundary, every time we let another person talk to us with disregard for our humanity, every time we tell ourselves "Oh, it's not that big of a deal," or "It really doesn't matter," when it does matter, we are not loving ourselves.
And if we have children, we are not teaching them to love themselves either, because they are watching us to learn how to love themselves.
When we accept less than we deserve, we are teaching others that it's ok to disrespect our hearts, our boundaries, our bodies and our minds.
Where do you accept less than you deserve?
Is there any scenario where you give less than another deserves?
Think about a relationship in your life where you continually tell yourself that the way someone treats you "really isn't that big of a deal,"-- when your gut and heart tell you the opposite.
First, acknowledge to yourself how truly hurtful their behavior is to you, and that each time you accept hurtful words or actions, you are telling yourself subconsciously that you really don't deserve to be loved.
Then, let the person know that what they are doing is no longer working for you, and that you need their behavior to change --because you now understand that how you let people treat you is a direct reflection of how much you care about yourself.
And, you are working on loving yourself and taking good care of yourself more....
It's never too late to ask someone to start loving you differently.
If someone you care about frequently tells you that your behavior could be more thoughtful or accepting, consider showing them how much you love them by really changing how you interact with them, because if you really love someone, it's never too late to respond to their requests to love differently.
Wishing you a beautiful Valentine's Day!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
If you have worked with me, you've probably heard me talk about taking care of yourself, self care and self compassion.
But what does it really mean to have self care and self compassion?
I believe self care and self compassion involve so much more than taking care of our hearts and minds through eating well, exercise, etc.
I believe self care and self compassion really mean loving and accepting ourselves enough to TAKE GOOD CARE of ourselves in order to live with the deepest joy, the most gracious hearts and the strongest minds.
But, I also believe that most of us spend more time taking care of our partners, children, family, pets, friends and colleagues much more often than we do taking care of ourselves.
So, I am embarking upon a journey alongside you to really, truly and completely explore how we take care of ourselves.
Every month, at the beginning of each month, I will be sending you a BRIEF email with ONE QUESTION and ONE IDEA to explore to help you create and develop the habit of taking greater self care and self compassion in your lives.
I am so excited to share these ideas with you, please feel free to share your ideas with me too!
THE YEAR OF YOU...JOY!
QUESTION: "What parts of my life bring me joy and what parts of my life take away my joy?"
IDEA: Increase the time you spend on those things that bring you joy, and remove just ONE thing from the part of your life that doesn't bring you joy.
May this year bring you more happiness and love than your hearts can hold!
Sending you my deepest gratitude for the honor of working with you!
Dr. Kim Sage