This has been an incredibly challenging season in my practice. The past six months have ranged from gut wrenching to just plain hard for a majority of my patients. I certainly can't begin to understand why, but what I can say is that over the years I've observed that while life is often both painful and beautiful, it also seems to unfold in patterns of ease and dis-ease, and those same types of patterns show up in my practice.
And, right now, for many of you - your lives have been filled with devastating losses of those you love, dangerous illnesses and diagnoses, the end of relationships, family hardships, emotional hurricanes, and lots of TRAUMA.
Your stories and lives leave me feeling deeply connected to you, and deeply empathic to your pain, and you also inspire me and push me to think even harder about how I can be of service to you. I never cease to be amazed by the courage, resilience and strength so many of you share with me, and I am forever grateful.
I've been writing these little emails/blogs because I want to connect with you, and want to help create little moments that help you stop and think about your lives, about what is working for you and what is not working for you, and about how to love yourselves more. And part of my reasoning is self-inspired as well, because I always want to do the same things for myself, and for those I love. But as I reflect, they just aren't going deeply enough into the truth. And I want to do more, I need to do more. For you, and for myself.
So, to me, the way we move forward is through sharing our stories, sharing our hearts, and by making ourselves vulnerable in life, and in therapy too. The way we move forward truly is one breath, one moment, and one day at a time. But that often cliched advice isn't always so easy to follow. I know, because I know my own story, and because I know your stories. So many of your stories take my breath away when I think about you, and what all of you have survived, and what you are currently surviving in your lives.
What I know about those take-your-breath-away moments is that so many of us endure them alone, in secrecy, and in isolation. We endure them alone because something inside us tells us it's not safe to share our story, or we don't know how to even begin to share our story, or that we need to keep our secrets-- because no one else would understand or because we would be judged or..... just because, that's it. But moving from enduring to surviving is about opening up those dark corners of our hearts, and finding ways to shine some light into places that maybe, no one else could even imagine we have inside us, let alone be able to see.
Therapy is about our stories and what we can do with them. Therapy is about helping to shine light in dark places. Therapy is also very much about celebrating the joys and victories of our lives too - sometimes when we haven't even acknowledged them to ourselves. Therapy is about discovering and celebrating the light and gifts within each of you, so you can go out and share that light with yourself, with those you love, and with the world. Therapy is about not being alone in your pain, alone in your isolation, or even alone in your joy.
Therapy and story telling are one in the same to me in many ways. Each session, each story, each unique person or couple or child -- reflect the incredibly illuminating hope and courage of the human spirit, both when it's glorious and gorgeous, and when it's ugly and hopeless.
So, with honesty as my guide and story by my side, I will be hosting a live weekly radio show in Laguna Beach on Sundays at 8AM on KX 93.5 FM -where I want to have real conversations with real people and real professionals about our moods, our minds and our real lives.
There are a million websites and podcasts about all things therapy related, and I certainly would not presume to have all the answers, but I want to at least try to talk about everything from hopelessness to happiness, in an authentic and illuminating way. I want to talk about things we don't talk about most days.
There truly are no words to express my gratitude for allowing me to join you on your journeys in life....I am honored and forever changed by each of you.
You teach me something new about life every single session, every single day. Thank you for being you.
Now, onto one more thing before I share the information about "MOODY, with DR. SAGE." For this month, my question and idea to you are as follows:
Questions: What parts of your story do you keep hidden from others? What parts of your story do you have a difficult time acknowledging to yourself?
Ideas: Consider the impact of isolating yourself within the hardest parts of your story. What price do you pay for doing so? Does your self esteem take a hit? Do you fear being hurt again so you rarely risk opening up and being seen? Does your secret story hold you back from living the life your heart wants for you because it's too scary to speak into words? What is the impact and what can you change about your story to create a new story for yourself? Do you need to forgive yourself or have more compassion for yourself? What if you stopped letting your story define you and created a new one for yourself that was rooted in love, grace and compassion?
"MOODY, with DR. SAGE," will begin on Sundays @ 8AM on KX 93.5 FM in Laguna Beach on July 15, 2018.
You can listen any time live if you are in Laguna Beach or Laguna Niguel, or by downloading the KX 93.5 app and streaming to any device.
I will also be posting podcasts of the show in case you don't happen to be interested in listening early on Sunday mornings!
Please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your ideas and thoughts about topics that you want to hear more about outside of therapy.
Dr. Kim Sage